Seriously, though, I do get lonely at times but you can be lonely with two or three or 500 people around you. I have always been a “loner”. For goodness sake I’m an introvert! I often joke that “I live in my own little world” but “that’s okay because they know me here.”
Okay so I’m not really “alone”; I have two handsome dudes that live with me, Cody and Charlie. No person can top the greeting I get from those two guys whenever I come home! They share in my happiness; they comfort me when I’m sick or sad. It only takes a tail thump to remind me that I am not by myself.
And then, of course, there’s someone else who tops even the best doggie kisses. He’s always there for me. For example several years back I was facing a drastic job change; unemployment. I wasn’t taking it too well. Months earlier I had lost two of my dogs. It was not a good year. I came home from choir practice this one particular night very down. I even wrote a poem. Those creative juices just seem to flow when I’m sad. Not that they’re good or anything. I wrote a short little verse.
"When it’s quiet and the lights are out,
The loneliness and the fear steps in.
It only takes a little doubt,
And then the tears begin."
That night I had tried to go to sleep but the eyes would not close or the mind stop thinking. I thought about how in a few months I would be out of work and facing the age of 60. I thought about how many other people were already out of work and how difficult it would be for me to find a job. I thought about what I had planned to do when I finally retired. Could I start those plans early? But what if I failed? I thought about losing my home and everything I had worked so hard for. I had struggled all my life. I thought my struggling years were over. I cried and cried and cried some more. I couldn’t stop crying. Then a faithful God reminded me of a time I cried in fear as a young child crouched under my school desk during an air-raid drill. He reminded me of the time my husband was arrested and sent to prison. He reminded me of the time my father-in-law told me that his eight-week old grandson and I were no longer welcomed in his home. He reminded me of the days I had no money for food. He reminded me when I lost my husband to someone else. He reminded of the difficulties my son and I faced. He reminded me when I lost someone very close to suicide. He reminded me that during each and every time He was there for me. I could not have faced life without His strength to get me through a moment let alone a day. It was that strength that got me through that time in my life and all the other times before and all the times that are ahead of me now.
Loneliness comes from fear. I am not alone. Do not be sad for me. Nor be impressed with me. For the great I AM is the one who completes me and makes me more than just one.
The LORD is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid. Psalm 27:1 (HNV)
October 23, 2012
Okay so I’m not really “alone”; I have two handsome dudes that live with me, Cody and Charlie. No person can top the greeting I get from those two guys whenever I come home! They share in my happiness; they comfort me when I’m sick or sad. It only takes a tail thump to remind me that I am not by myself.
And then, of course, there’s someone else who tops even the best doggie kisses. He’s always there for me. For example several years back I was facing a drastic job change; unemployment. I wasn’t taking it too well. Months earlier I had lost two of my dogs. It was not a good year. I came home from choir practice this one particular night very down. I even wrote a poem. Those creative juices just seem to flow when I’m sad. Not that they’re good or anything. I wrote a short little verse.
"When it’s quiet and the lights are out,
The loneliness and the fear steps in.
It only takes a little doubt,
And then the tears begin."
That night I had tried to go to sleep but the eyes would not close or the mind stop thinking. I thought about how in a few months I would be out of work and facing the age of 60. I thought about how many other people were already out of work and how difficult it would be for me to find a job. I thought about what I had planned to do when I finally retired. Could I start those plans early? But what if I failed? I thought about losing my home and everything I had worked so hard for. I had struggled all my life. I thought my struggling years were over. I cried and cried and cried some more. I couldn’t stop crying. Then a faithful God reminded me of a time I cried in fear as a young child crouched under my school desk during an air-raid drill. He reminded me of the time my husband was arrested and sent to prison. He reminded me of the time my father-in-law told me that his eight-week old grandson and I were no longer welcomed in his home. He reminded me of the days I had no money for food. He reminded me when I lost my husband to someone else. He reminded of the difficulties my son and I faced. He reminded me when I lost someone very close to suicide. He reminded me that during each and every time He was there for me. I could not have faced life without His strength to get me through a moment let alone a day. It was that strength that got me through that time in my life and all the other times before and all the times that are ahead of me now.
Loneliness comes from fear. I am not alone. Do not be sad for me. Nor be impressed with me. For the great I AM is the one who completes me and makes me more than just one.
The LORD is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid. Psalm 27:1 (HNV)
October 23, 2012
